Confusion of the Heart
by xXSoulDragonXx
Summary: Kaiba and Jounouchi have never gotten along since day one; but when the CEO finds out something about the blonde, everything turns upside-down as their relationship is changed forever. Sometimes all it takes is a little push to make someone finally snap. And that's something that Jounouchi needed; a little push.
1. Prologue

**©DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH! IT IS OWNED BY KAZUKI TAKAHASHI! I AM IN NO WAY MAKING ANY PROFIT OFF OF THIS! THIS IS FAN-MADE! ENJOY!**

**_SUMMARY:_** _Kaiba and Jounouchi have never gotten along since day one; but when the CEO finds out something about the blonde, everything turns upside-down as their relationship is changed forever. Sometimes all it takes is a little push to make someone finally snap. And that's something that Jounouchi needed; a little push._

**.*.*.**

**PROLOGUE:**

"_Dad please! Why won't you listen to me?"_

"_Are you fucking serious?! I don't have time to deal with a brat like you!"_

"_I'm not a brat!"_

"_Yes you are! God, now I realize why your mother left you behind!"_

"_Dad please…please don't say that…"_

"_Why?! Because the truth hurts?"_

"_Stop it! Stop talking!"_

"_What did you say to me?! Why the nerve of you, you little brat!"_

"_No please, I'm sorry!"_

"_Oh no, you're not getting off easy this time! That's the last time I'll have you disrespect me!"_

"_P-Please…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"_

"_Stop your crying boy! How do you expect to be a man if your always on your knees weeping! Take it like a man!"_

"_Dad please, I'm begging you…stop…just listen to me…"_

"_Why would I do that? You're not worth the trouble of even doing it."_

"_D-Don't say-"_

"_Be QUIET!"_

"_But Dad-"_

"_Are you deaf? Can't you listen? God, that mouth of yours is nothing but trouble!"_

"_Dad…Dad I-"_

I shot up like a bullet in bed gasping for air. My heart's racing and I feel like someone just dumped a bucket of cold water of me once I realize my body's slick with sweat. I'm trembling like crazy as I just stare at the door of my room.

"_Are you deaf? Can't you listen? God, that mouth of yours is nothing but trouble!"_

I can still hear his voice, loud and clear, as it echoed in my head. It was then that I realize I'm crying as I feel the warm tears run down my cheeks. Vivid flashes of the dream are burned into my skull. His booming voice and his angry, crimson-brown eyes. His face seemed to always be twisted into nothing but anger when he saw me. It made me shrink back…it made me…scared. I wiped away my tears quickly, as I tried to gain back control of my body. Easier said than done. I just couldn't get the dream out of my head.

"_Dad please, I'm begging you…stop…just listen to me…"_

"_Why would I do that? You're not worth the trouble of even doing it."_

I shiver as I hear my own voice crack as his insults finally started to get to me. I shut my eyes tightly as I hold my head trying to will the memories away. But alas, I'm only left restless as I growl irritated. I fling the covers from my form as I get out of bed and stalk around my room; I can't sleep. Not after that.

Several moments later, before I can continue to let my irritation silently boil-

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

-my alarm goes off. God, _what time is it_? I whip around, still hyped up a bit from the adrenaline rush, and dart over to my night stand. I hit the sleep button and stare at the blinking red numbers that flash across the screen;

**5:00 AM**

Five AM? I was woken up near five o' clock in the morning? When did I even set my alarm clock? Yesterday seems like nothing but a big blur right now….I sigh as I scrub my face against my hands. I might as well get ready for school. Sighing once more, I haul my tired body to my bedroom door, where I quietly open it. She's sleeping and I don't want to trouble her. She needs her rest. So as quietly as I can, I creep through the dimly lit halls of our apartment that are illuminated by the early morning glow of the sun trying to peek its way through our curtain-covered windows.

I stay close to the wall though, not knowing what he might have left around the place in his wake, and soon I feel the familiar cool surface of the wooden bathroom door. I let out a tiny sigh as I grab the knob, opening the door and entering quickly before locking the door behind me. I lean against it, and once again my body's shaking. Shaking like crazy. My pulse is pumping through my skin and my heart's racing a bit. I lift my hand up to my face and watch as it trembled for a few moments before it finally died down and I let it fall back down to my side.

Everyday…

I have to endure this _everyday_…

The shakes, the racing pulse, the sweating, the _nightmares_…

Only I don't think they're just nightmares anymore.

I walk over to the sink and turn on the faucet, quickly setting the temperature to Luke-warm. I needed a wake-up call anyway.

I mean it's hard to explain but…they don't feel like just a nightmare, ya know? I started getting them two months ago; they'd come every other week or when I was stressed. But soon after, they began to come every other _day_, and soon _every other_ day turned into _every single_ day. They're all too real; the fear, the pain, the sadness, the anger-you don't just feel those types of emotions that often when dreaming, or at least not _that_ intense. It's like I really…really went through all that…It's like….

I lift my head up as I break my gaze from staring at the rushing water going down the drain, and instead, look at the person staring right back at me through the world of glass.

My reflection.

I just stare at it. I don't know _why_ but it's like I've finally seen myself for the first time in a _long_ while…

My usually sun-kissed tanned skin is now paler, almost like the color of that really cheap and crappy loose-leaf that you get at the dealers store or something. But it's still not _white_, ya get it? I guess not, I don't really expect ya too anyway. My eyes burn from the brightness of the light and the pupils are so constricted as they try to let themselves adjust. But even so, I stare at my eyes…man, I've got some weird eyes…

Ever since I was little I've had people comment on my eyes.

"Oh you have such pretty eyes!"

"Your eyes are _so_ brown! Like a hazel!"

"Nah, I'd say your eyes are more of a golden brown-like the color of honey."

"You've got this glint of red in them when your angry."

"They look sort of reddish-brownish if you ask me…"

Well shit. All of them are right.

When I was little, as far as I knew, my eyes were brown. Like mocha brown. But then as I started to get older and stuff, they sort of, change a bit ya know? Like they got lighter, and were kind of honey-colored. People would say it's because I'm a happy person but I thought otherwise. They said when my mood changed, my eye color did too. Well sort of.

Look at it like this; when I was excited, people said they were like hazel or whatever. Others would say when I got mad or something, my eyes would have this "darken" look in them and would be sort of reddish-brownish. _Puh-lease_.

But now, as I look in the mirror, I can see _exactly_ what they were saying. I mean, I do look kind of pissed right now but that's not the point; point is that my eyes _did_ change color. Sort of.

I look at them right now and I see brown eyes tinted red. Like a crimson-brown color. Like rust but a little brighter. I think it's genetics or something like that, 'cause my dad has an eye color similar to this while my mom had a dull greenish-brownish color, but it's a nice color for me. 'Specially with this mess of a blonde mop on my head. I've been a bit lazy—meaning I haven't had the time—and hadn't gotten a haircut last month. I hadn't noticed it before, but it had gotten much longer and wilder, now reaching a bit past my shoulders. But maybe it just looks wilder because of bed-head?…

I let out a yawn and quickly lift my hand to cover it, out of habit. As a result of the large intake of air, my spine cracks quietly but still loud enough to hear it, making me wince at the sound. I stared back into the mirror.

_Is this what people see? Is this really how I look to people?_

_"__Jounouchi!"_

I jump as my pulse speeds up, but I don't make a sound. Here it comes; the damn dreams. I tremble as I hear his voice steadily grow louder.

_"__You better not have fallen asleep in there boy!"_

I swallow the lump that formed in my throat as I hear my own voice speak.

"_N-No dad-! I'm just getting ready for school!"_

My voice sounds hoarse and shaky but I'm sure he heard it, because I hear his heavy footsteps retreat from the door and grows quiet until they are far enough that I can't hear them anymore. I realize that I've got the rim of the sink in a death grip and my breathing's gone thick. I blink a few times as I try to come to grip with my senses. I wait until my trembling lessons that I finally let go of the sink. I sigh.

_Everyday…_


	2. Chapter 1

**©DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH! IT IS OWNED BY KAZUKI TAKAHASHI! I AM IN NO WAY MAKING ANY PROFIT OFF OF THIS! THIS IS FAN-MADE! ENJOY!**

**AN: Now I changed the first chapter around, special thanks to Lppurplegirl11 ****for her pointing out a few things in her review. I honestly think that this version is much better. **

**.*.*.**

**CHAPTER 1:**

Sighing tiredly, I haul my body off my bed; I had been laying on it for who-knows-how-long trying to at least get a little bit of sleep in so I wouldn't be a walking zombie in school, but alas; things did not go my way. As I sit up I looked at the clock,

**6:30 AM**

I stood up and leave the room quietly and made my way down the hall, into the kitchen, where I spotted my ginger haired sibling sitting at the kitchen table already dressed in her school uniform, eating a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. We both had already switched to our summer uniform once the weather got warmer—mind you that it's still the beginning of spring. She looked up from eating upon hearing me enter and smiled lightly,

"About time, I was starting to wonder if I had to go in there and resurrect you, Onii-chan."

I grunted and headed straight for the kettle, "Hardy-har, very funny sis." I muttered hoarsely, damn why the hell do I sound like that? I didn't even have to turn around to know that she was frowning; I could just tell by the tone of her voice;

"Are you alright bro? You sound a bit…" She trailed off, and I hummed, "Dry?" I inputted bluntly, as I poured the still hot water into a mug that I grabbed from the rack. Well the water wasn't _boiling_ hot but it was the type of hot that you'd shower in I suppose. I opened the cabinets above me and grabbed an hour-glass shaped plastic container that head little tiny brown particles—otherwise known as coffee crystals.

Yes I drink coffee. I'm sorry but that stuff is just too deliciously amazing. Plus it keeps me up. So that's a bonus.

"And yeah, I'm just _peachy_." I spoke again, answering her earlier question as I got a spoon and scooped some into the mug, mixing it with the water and watching it as it turned into a dark brown concoction. Man, I'm must really be in a bad mood if I'm being so sarcastic so early. I heard Shizuka let out a small mewl in annoyance—aw she sounded so cute!—and the sound of the chair scraping against the floor soon followed after, as well as her soft footsteps until they stopped. I looked at her from the corner of my eye as she started washing her bowl in the sink, which I so happen to be right next to.

"That's a lie and we both know it." She stated simply, I rolled my eyes and put the coffee crystals back in the cabinet and walked over to the fridge, opening it and scanning through its contents until my eyes landed on their target. I grabbed the creamer and gave it a firm shaking as I shut the fridge and walked back over to my sibling, who was finished washing her simple dish and had just put it in the rack.

"What are ya, a _lie detector_?" I snorted and popped the cap and poured in a fair amount of the white creamy substance into the mug before closing it and going back to putting it in the fridge. I walked back over to the counter, my body facing away from her. As I stirred my coffee, Shizuka gave a soft huff. "My, someone's in a cranky mood aren't they?" She mused and walked back over to push her chair in. I gave a quiet sigh as I lifted the mug to my lips, taking a tentative sip.

"You know I've been having trouble sleeping, so it's obviously gonna put a damper on my mood." I muttered and starting drinking. However, I once I finished, I realized that it was way too quiet and I turned around to find the room vacant.

"Shizuka?" I asked out loud and received no response. I rinsed the mug out before putting it the sink; I'll take care of it later. I walked out the kitchen and down the hallway until I was in the living room, where I spotted the ginger-head sitting on the couch, quietly putting her books away in her bag. I gave a small sigh of relief and felt my pulse slow down.

"You've got to stop disappearing on me like that." I spoke quietly and leaned on the door frame.

_Stop it! _I berated myself;_ We LIVE together for Pete's sake! It's not like she could've left the place or disappeared!_

Even though she and I live together, she tends to disappear sometimes, which often frightens me, because well...well I have this fear of losing her. I finally have her ya know? After all this time…and I just don't wanna let her go. And I kind of gained this little stupid fear of her leaving me…it's stupid, I know, which is why I'm trying to get rid of it.

"Katsuya?" She spoke up quietly, breaking me from my thoughts. Very rarely, does she ever call me by my name, so I'm full intent on listening to what she has to say.

"Why are you having trouble sleeping?"

Now _that_ caught me off guard; she never asked me about why I was having trouble sleeping before and as a result, I was bombarded as I remembered the nightmares; the _memories_.

"_Damn it Katsuya, what the hell is wrong with you! Can't you do anything right?!"_

I grip onto the door frame tightly as I feel myself becoming light,

"_Well? Answer me boy!"_

"_I-I'm sorry dad! I'm so sorry!"_

"_Stop apologizing boy, don't cry over every little thing!"_

"_Y-Yes dad…I'll take care this right away…"_

I felt my pulse begin to pick up again and my breaths were coming out shallow as I shivered—I was shaking.

"_You're so weak! That damn mother of yours already went and messed you up!"_

Just as I felt the sweat begin to gather on the back of my neck, I felt a gentle shake of my shoulder and the memories started to slowly fade away. I blinked slowly and looked down to meet the worried gaze of my sister. Her earthy colored orbs meeting with my crimson brown ones.

"S-Shi…" I stopped short once I realized my voice once again came out rasped, not to mention shaky. I gave her a look that asked, _what's wrong?_

"I asked you about why you were having trouble sleeping and you spaced out on me. I called your name a few times and you still didn't answer. You had this hazy look in your eyes too. What happened? What's wrong?"

I swallowed, moisturizing my throat as it seemed to be as dry as sandpaper, before I spoke lowly, "It's nothing, and I was just deep in thought."

I was lying, I know, but I just couldn't—_wouldn't_ tell her, she doesn't know about the nightmares. She doesn't know about what happened back with me and dad. She doesn't know about _anything_ that went on after the divorce, and I'd rather keep it that way. I'm not trying to sound selfish—quite the opposite in fact, I honestly don't want her to know about it because then she'll started blaming herself for something she couldn't have prevented. She's just like that.

Her gaze was unbelieving as she stared at me and I placed my hand on her head—she's still short and came up to my chest—and gave it a gentle squeeze, causing her to pout and forcing me to break out into a small grin. She's just so cute sometimes for her own good. Noticing my grin, she lets out a small smile of her own,

"Come on," I murmured, "Let's go get you to school. I don't want you going all upset and stuff because of me. I'm _fine._" She pouted again, looking a bit downcast but nodded nonetheless. I removed my hand as she turned away from me and walked out into the hall and slipped on her shoes, with me following and doing the same with my boots, lacing them up. After grabbing our bags, we left the apartment and building and began our way down the sidewalk to the train station.

* * *

I watched as Shizuka left the train station exit, waving and telling her to be careful, as she got lost in the crowds.

Ow. I suddenly feel a pang of pain in my chest.

Remember that fear of her leaving me? Yeah that's back. _Damn it! I've gotta stop with this! _I shoved my hands into my pockets and forced my body to move as I make my way back to the train station. Once I'm down there I glance up the big hanging board to know when the next train should be arriving. Don't know what the thing's called, so I dubbed it as, 'Big Hanging Board'.

"Ten minutes…" I murmured, and went to go sit on one of the benches. I had to get to school by 8:20 being that nobody gets in after 8:30, and it was now…

I flipped my wrist over as I looked on the underside, at the black watch, gazing at the tiny black digital numbers.

**7:30 AM**

So it took nearly twenty minutes to get here and I have to wait another ten…I summed up the math in my head and sighed as I got my answer; I would only be able to make it to school by 8:25—unless I run to school…

I re-did the last bit and got 8:15 and I sighed, this is all if the train isn't delayed—which I seriously hope isn't. I'm honestly trying not to get detention for being late. Me and Head Mistress Tsukimiya made a small deal that if I'm not late for a week, she won't give me detention for being late any other time. It's Monday and I'm trying to hold up my end of the bargain, so please,_ please_ don't let the train be delayed!

I got up and went to look back at the board; six minutes. I exhaled silently and went to stand by the tracks; I didn't have much to do anyway. I reached into my bag and pulled out a black iPod. I plugged in the matching headphones and turned it on to be greeted by my music list. As I came across Three Days Grace and clicked them, I felt a small happiness rise in my chest, despite the fact I didn't let it show on my face, and what better way to start the day than listening to rock?

* * *

I got off the train and ran to the side so I wouldn't get swallowed by the swarm of people, and checked my watch;

**7:58 AM**

Okay so the train ride took a little bit longer than expected. I walked over to the steps that take me upstairs and take a deep breath of air once I'm out. Damn, I needed fresh air, that place was way too stuffy. I hurried to the curb so I'm not trampled on by people and begin my walk to school. Let's see…it's like 8:00 right now or something so add the twenty minute walk and yeah I'll get there like around 8:20 or something.

As I walked I began to hum to the beat of the songs softly until I got to the second block; where I get to a part that makes my lips move before I can comprehend it;

_I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
I feel alive, when you're beside me  
I will not die, I'll wait here for you  
In my time of dying_

The words flowed from my lips effortlessly; it's something I'm trying to grow accustomed to—when there's a lyric, or lyrics, that I know and means something to me I tend to speak it—or sing it really—out loud. These set of lyrics have deep meaning to me…I shake my head lightly; I don't need to go down memory lane again. Twice in one morning is enough, thank you.

I lifted my wrist again to see the time and let out a small choked squawk sound, it was already 8:16! _Was I seriously walking that slowly? Damn it!_ I pushed my feet into the ground and push myself off into a running start; thank god this block isn't too lively. Just a bunch of small apartments and houses, that last thing I needed was for something to think I'm nuts, running like a maniac.

.*.*.

By the time I was in front of the school, I was panting and gasping for air. The bell hadn't rung yet and I pushed myself and continued running, despite the fatigue, until I made it to my first period class; English.

I stopped in front of the door as I tried to regain my composure. Easier said than done. But I still managed, so I opened the door to the class and was surprised to find no teacher standing at the front, or in the room for that matter, as I did a quick scan across the classroom. Everyone was caught up in their own conversation. I shrugged and walked in and straight to my seat by the window in the second row in the back.

I put my headphones and iPod away in my pants pocket and just sat there, there was no use in trying to talk to anyone, since my friends weren't in this class with me—well there was Ryou but I hadn't seen the white haired boy when I entered. So yeah, I had none of my friends in here.

I sighed again for like the hundredth time that morning, and looked out the window. The school bell sounded loudly outside the classroom. Barely five minutes was I in the building and I was already bored out of my mind. How is that possible? Who the fuck knows…but then again, who the fuck cares? Besides it was more interesting to look out the window, because at least outside there were people who were actually enjoying themselves while in the classroom you had to just sit there and listen as they cram all this stuff into your brain—Every. Single. Subject. Every. Single. Day.

Soon my ears perked up at the dying whispers and I turned around to look at the front. Blinking in surprise when I saw the school's Head Mistress standing in the front of the room with a man I hadn't seen before, standing beside her.

"Now class, as you must have noticed by now, that Ms. Kagome is not here. She is not feeling quite well and has decided to take a few days off, thus putting you all in the position you are in now. But despite the short notice, I have found you all a substitute; please welcome Mr. Hisakawa."

Mr. Hisakawa was a man of his mid-twenties and looked about 6''0' tall, he had fair skin and long light, blonde hair that was pulled into a loose ponytail with some strands falling on the sides of his face. He also had light brown eyes and his body built was slim. He wore like a mint green button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and two of the top buttons undone, tucked into a pair of dark brown slacks with black shoes. He also wore a black watch on his right wrist. Why the hell do the teachers have to dress so freaking formal? I wouldn't mind if this was a no uniform school…

"He is the English teacher of Class D from two floors above. He has someone covering his class for the first two periods, so he'll be here until then. I expect you all to treat him with the same respect as you would for Ms. Kagome. Now I will leave you all to begin class." And with that, Ms. Tsukimiya turned and walked out the room, her heeled black ankle boots clicking away at the floor and into the hall.

Mr. Hisakawa walked over to the desk and picked up the teachers' planner I often saw Ms. Kagome use, and flipped through it until he apparently found what he was looking for—

"Alright class, take out your textbooks and turn to page 386. Today we will be starting a new unit." I raised an eyebrow as my interest was piqued—okay so maybe this wouldn't be such a boring day after all.


End file.
